One of the most common reactions is avoidance. In her book, " Option B ," for instance, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg wrote that when she returned to work after the death of her husband, her colleagues pretended that nothing had changed. This left her feeling isolated and depressed. People may also trivialize a loss.
GriefShare - Grief Recovery Support Groups - GriefShare
For instance, if someone's beloved pet dies, they might not see it as a "big deal," even if — to him — it is. Others may misunderstand loss. For example, someone might grieve the loss of a "sisterly" relationship when a sibling transitions to a new gender, but others may not consider this to be a "real" loss. For these reasons, it's vital that you address the issue directly, but sensitively.
Show compassion, and give the person who's experiencing the loss an opportunity to discuss her feelings with you. Your team member may find it hard to acknowledge the loss that he's experienced. He might even be angry or dismissive when it's mentioned. If this is the case, take a step back.
- God: A Guide for the Perplexed.
- An Essay concerning Human Enquiry: Exploring the Intersection of Hume and Kant — Perception, Causation and the Limits of Human Understanding.
- Complicated grief!
But let him know that your door's always open if, and when, he wants to talk about it. Talking to someone about the loss that she's experienced may feel awkward at first. You might be worried that you'll say something "wrong" or offensive. When you first talk to your team member about his loss, ask whether he wants other people on the team to know, and how he wants the information to be communicated to them.
You could, for example, offer to send a team- or company-wide email that explains the situation, and that gives people permission to get in touch with him privately. Don't wait for your team member to ask you for time off. Take the lead yourself. Find out what leave she is entitled to and carefully explain the details to her. On average, U.
Most, however, don't provide it for the loss of a friend, or for other forms of loss. Bereavement leave policies also vary around the world, so if you're unsure about the exact entitlement allowed, check with your HR department.
You could also consider offering her a more flexible working arrangement like part-time hours, a job-share, or a phased return to work. And, keep in touch with her while she's off work. If it's appropriate, send her a text message or short email to find out how she's coping.
Understanding The Stages Of Grief
If she has asked that you give her some time alone, however, be sure to respect her wishes. Finding This Article Useful? You can learn another team management skills, like this, by joining the Mind Tools Club. As a manager, you can offer sympathy and practical support, but you're probably not a trained counselor, and you may lack the skills or experience to help someone to cope with grief at a deeper level or in the longer term. But, you can still help him to access this kind of help. Is counseling available through your company's health insurance, for example? Or, is there a helpline or employee support group that he could contact?
Signposting to outside services can be useful, too. Perhaps there's a local bereavement group or charity-led service that could help.
Your session is about to expire!
The circumstances of your team member's loss may be very sad, but you still need to make sure that her work gets done. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone. We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including:.
The pain of grief can often cause you to want to withdraw from others and retreat into your shell. But having the face-to-face support of other people is vital to healing from loss. Comfort can also come from just being around others who care about you. The key is not to isolate yourself. Turn to friends and family members. Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. They may feel unsure about how to comfort you and end up saying or doing the wrong things.
Draw comfort from your faith. If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you—such as praying, meditating, or going to church—can offer solace. Join a support group. Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers, or see the Resources section below.
Talk to a therapist or grief counselor. If your grief feels like too much to bear, find a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.
Grief and loss
As well as allowing you to impart practical information, such as funeral plans, these pages allow friends and loved ones to post their own tributes or condolences. Reading such messages can often provide comfort for those grieving the loss. Of course, posting sensitive content on social media has its risks. Memorial pages are often open to anyone with a Facebook account.
This may encourage people who hardly knew the deceased to post well-meaning but inappropriate comments or advice. Worse, memorial pages can also attract Internet trolls.
Surviving the Holidays
There have been many well-publicized cases of strangers posting cruel or abusive messages on memorial pages. To gain some protection, you can opt to create a closed group on Facebook rather than a public page, which means people have to be approved by a group member before they can access the memorial. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.
Face your feelings. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety , substance abuse, and health problems. Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal. Try to maintain your hobbies and interests. Look after your physical health.
The mind and body are connected. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. These and other difficult emotions become less intense as you begin to accept the loss and start to move forward with your life. GriefShare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help.
There are thousands of GriefShare grief recovery support groups meeting throughout the US, Canada, and in over 10 other countries. Receive an encouraging email message every day for a year. These short messages will inspire you and provide practical information as you grieve the loss of your loved one.
Sign up for the GriefShare daily emails. GriefShare is a ministry of Church Initiative.